As humans, being comfortable has to be one of the most amazing feelings in the world. That means you've grown accustomed to your surroundings, to people, and are in a state where you can be yourself. Everyone is on a mission to feel like that.
When you meet someone and feel the connection you can tell if you're going to be comfortable with them from the get-go. Whether you're guarded, shy, reserved, or quiet, there's no denying someone can make you feel comfortable. Some people can just make the real you come out quicker than others.
Comfort can also be one of the worst things out there. Comfort leads to settling. Sometimes we get so accustomed to feelings, situations, routines and expectations that they drift us away from how we should really be treated or creates fear in never wanting things to be different.
We hold on because we are scared to feel uncomfortable. We hold on to places, people, habits, and objects because that's all we've known. How disruptive can that be? How numb can that feel? How lifeless does it seem?
My first real uncomfortable experience was when I went away to college. Who knew what 23 miles of distance from what you've known your whole life can do to a person. I felt alone, lost, and discouraged. A ridiculous amount of new faces and a lot of new experiences. When you come from a town where everyone knowns everyone, new faces are a breath of fresh air. It was rough, not going to lie. A lot of days where spent contemplating if I made the right decision. I was yearning to be sourounded by comfort -- from what I knew was my safe space. The downside to a new environment is all the bullshit you have to experience to find your home in all the chaos. Meeting new people also leads to meeting a lot of shallow, ignorant, and deceiving people. But that's all a part of learning process. It's been 3 years since then and as I reflect, leaving was one of the best things I've ever decided to do. I met amazing people from all parts of the county and the world. They all brought their ideas, values, and hearts to the table. Because of them I was able to shift paradigms and view life from a different lens. The growth I received is priceless.
But here I am now. Back to the place I ran away from. Learning to find a home in the space that isn't my home anymore. To the people I desired comfort from when I left are no longer here to comfort me. So where do I go from here? I left because I yearned for new experiences but now I have to make new experiences in a place full of old memories.
I am trying my hardest to let go of places, people, habits and objects that I've come accustomed to. To the people that stick by me -- the amount of appreciation and gratitude is unmeasurable. Thank you for holding me down. To the people I chose to spend my time with now -- thank you for bringing all types of new vibes to the table. To the people I have yet to meet -- I look forward to seeing what experiences and lessons you bring in my life. To the people who are not in my life anymore -- you are a blessing in disguise.
I end with something a dear friend of mine told me today, "Honestly, if you can be fucking comfortable being alone and content with the idea of being alone in your own thoughts, which is the scariest shit ever, you can handle anything and it's then that you know your value and what you want in people. Fuck settling". What a dope opinion. A lot of truth in that statement.
I share this advice with everyone else. Don't be afraid to leave what you've known forever for the fear of believing something as great won't ever happen again. Be okay with new situations and settings. The process is worth more than the outcome.
Peace and love y'all,
Jocelyn Hernandez.
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